God's promises aren't coming true for me

There are some things that should happen after becoming a Christian that are listed in the Bible. For me these things are not coming true anymore (not the ones I want anyway). I did have some of them at the beginning, before I sinned against the Spirit. I think these are signs that I am cut off from God.

Living life more abundantly (John 10:10)

For me my life is worse than in the beginning, so I am not living life more abundantly.

Peace that transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7)

I am not anxious, but I would not call this peace either, it's emotional numbness. I don't feel much anxiety and no sorrow, but I also feel no joy or love. But I can laugh at some funny stuff.

Love that surpasses knowledge (Ephesians 3:19)

I don't feel love even for my own mother. Although I choose to care and love God and people, but I would not say it "surpasses knowledge".

The fruit of the Spirit which is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance (Galatians 5:22-23)

Out of these items listed I have some faith.

God will teach us (Psalms 32:8)

In the beginning He taught me some things in the Bible, but my understanding of the Bible has not really increased since October 2019. Since I became possessed my memory and intelligence have gone down.

An easy yoke and light burden (Matthew 11:30)

I feel burdened to constantly fight intrusive thoughts in my mind.

Plans to prosper us, give us hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11)

I am unemployed, mentally ill and my cognitive abilities have declined, so that I will have a hard time getting a job or an education. I have little hope for a good future.

Ask and ye shall receive (I assume this means to answer our prayers) (Matthew 7:7)

I have prayed probably hundreds of prayers in the last 3 years and I can only think of a handful that have been answered, and those prayers were usually not for me. Also I didn't pray for them alone, for example I asked others to pray for my mom when she got covid.

It seems I have done something that has left me outside of these positive promises from God, cut off, if you will. What seems to be applying however is the negative promises, like for example Hebrews 6:4-6 and Hebrews 10:26-29, or 2 Peter 2:20.

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