What is the purpose of my life?

When I was young I didn't have much of a purpose to my life. I just made a bucket list and started crossing off items on it. But now I have lost the list, so I don't remember exactly what was on it or how many items I have completed. I think it was over 50% completed though.

Then in 2019 I became a Christian, that improved my life in some ways. I had a purpose and structure in my life, and through the church I made new friends. I also felt peace and joy for the first time in a long time. I had hope for the future as I thought I was going to heaven and would have a good afterlife.

But then something went wrong, I did a "sin" and many of the benefits seemed to evaporate in a moment. It's like the religion sub system in my brain malfunctioned, and instead of feeling peace and joy I started to be mentally tormented. This led me to critically examine the Bible and it didn't pass the smell test, there were too many inconsistencies in the scriptures, and that caused me to stop believing.

After I stopped believing the mental torment seems to have reduced as it was mostly related to religion and fear of committing the unforgivable sin. But right now I am unsure about what my purpose to live is. So I am just living on hedonistic copes like food, alcohol, sleeping and consooming entertainment. I suppose I would like to leave something behind that outlives me, and maybe I will make a new bucket list.

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Comments

  1. Believer31 March 2024 at 22:26

    Eccl 12
    13 Now all has been heard;
    here is the conclusion of the matter:
    Fear God and keep his commandments,
    for this is the duty of all mankind.
    14 For God will bring every deed into judgment,
    including every hidden thing,
    whether it is good or evil.

    ReplyDelete

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