Schizophrenia made me an NPC


I used to be a creative individual with a vivid imagination who would day dream a lot and visualize things in my mind. Then some of these things I would try to bring into reality, like for example edit a cool video, create a website, make a funny meme or what not.

But since I got schizophrenia my mind is either empty or I have intrusive thoughts that I don't want, I struggle to be creative. I am also barely able to visualize or imagine things in my mind. It's like something is blocking my imagination. I can't sometimes even imagine an image of my mom or dad. I know for some people schizophrenia has made them more creative, but for me it's the opposite.

It's almost like I have lost my soul and now I am just an empty vessel void of any original creative thoughts. However the world at large seems to also have gone this way. TV shows, movies and games just aren't what they used to be in the past. Part of it may be my personal bias and nostalgia, but I think it's still true.

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Comments

  1. Anonymous25 November 2023 at 13:41

    If you were medicated, it could also be a result of that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Husker26 November 2023 at 14:57

      Yeah, that's possible. But when I tried to stop using meds, I wasn't able to sleep very well and after like 5 days I started having disturbing hallucinations again. So for now I am using meds.

      Delete

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