Husker Seeks

I don't want to be on too many Google platforms so I am now posting on Substack instead. I also prefer the layout and other features, like email notifications. Check out my blog Husker's Lighthouse at Substack here: husker.substack.com I will keep this blog open so that you can read my old posts. Thanks for reading and God bless!

I have always been a bit of a pessimist by nature. It may even be genetic because my mom is the same way. I'm usually assuming the worst, an opposite to the optimism bias that humans tend to have. I guess that's part of why I found Jesus as I don't have hope in this world or human nature itself. Even before believing in the Gospel I thought humans were flawed creatures and we couldn't solve the problems of the world by ourselves. Right now we are moving toward a world where humans are more like robots, cogs in a technological machine that doesn't care about them. Humans care less and less about each other, or following any sort of morals. They will increasingly cheat, steal and throw their fellow man under the bus to get ahead in life. Once saved, always saved The Gospel I believed when I was originally converted was the "once saved, always saved" gospel, or OSAS. Some also refer to it as free grace theology. I thought it was beautiful that there was a goo...

Maybe I was ungrateful but I felt that my prayers weren't being answered for many years, not enough of them anyway. I also didn't gain much clarity on my spiritual situation until recently. However this compelled me to first question God's goodness and then question the validity of Christianity as a whole. I dove deep into atheist critiques of Christianity and deconstruction stories. After this mind-bending journey Christianity didn't make much logical sense to me. So I decided to not believe in the Bible anymore. While I logically didn't believe, some seed of faith remained in me for whatever reason. So I still believed on a deeper level, I just didn't want to accept it. Perhaps out of anger toward God and pride in my own philosophical ideas. Life outside the church Things didn't change that much from the mental and spiritual aspect. I do have a schizophrenia diagnosis, and it manifests as a demon, that didn't change for better or worse after I stopped ...